Can Saying “Hello” Save a Life?

The Tonjibo cliffs overlook the Sea of Japan. They stretch over 3,200 feet of coastline and soar to a heights of 100 feet. The cliffs are beautiful but they’re also the most popular place in the world to end your life.

Last year 24 people walked to the edge of the cliff….and jumped to their death.

The cliffs sit on the edge of the Aokigahara Forest, or as locals refer to it, the Suicide Forest. At the edge of the forest, a warning sign reads:

“Life is a precious thing that you have from your parents. Try to calmly think about your parents, brothers and sisters, your children. Please do not keep things to yourself. Talk to someone."

So, if it’s the most popular place in the world to end your life, why doesn’t somebody do something to help?

In many cases that someone turns out to be Yukio Shige. Around the cliffs he is known to locals as the "wait a moment" man. He has personally saved the lives of 750 people.

See, Japan’s suicide rate is one of the highest in the developed world at around 22,000 per year or around 60 deaths per day. That’s about twice the US rate and 3.5 times the rate in the United Kingdom. In Japan, suicide is the leading cause of death for those age 25-39. In the US, the leading cause is accidents, mostly related to automobiles.

Each day, rain or shine, Shige climbs the craggy path to the soaring Tojinbo cliffs. (Ironically, almost nobody ever jumps on a rainy day. They wait until the sun comes out, with Spring attracting the highest number of jumpers.)

He sits quietly with his binoculars and carefully searches the distant cliffs for potential jumpers. How does he know if someone is about to jump, you ask? Well, after many years of watching the behavior of thousands of people, he has learned the telltale signs. While most visitors take selfies and panoramic photos of the breathtaking vista, those contemplating suicide do not. They sit alone, quietly, often away from the crowds.

So, how does this unassuming Japanese man go about saving so many lives on the cliffs? What magical words does he use to prevent such a tragedy? According to Shige, he usually starts with Konnichiwa which is simply translated to hello in English.

With a gentle spirit and a floppy fishing hat, Shige simply approaches people with the demeanor of an old friend. In many cases people are just looking for someone to talk to.

So, how is possible that a simple “hello” can have such a profound impact on another human being? Well, that question is the subject of a growing body of research on the impact of social connection on our happiness and well-being.

According to research, social isolation can lead to a plethora of mental health issues and can also lead to premature death. And, we are still recovering from the isolation we experienced during Covid.

Researchers are learning that even casual interactions with total strangers can have a profound impact on our mental health.

In a 2014 study researchers explored whether students experienced greater happiness and greater feelings of belonging on days when they interacted with more classmates than usual, even if students simply said hello to total strangers.

The study confirmed that even social interactions with more peripheral members of our social networks contribute to our overall well-being. People who have more casual interactions with strangers tend to be happier. It’s part of the reason why the remote working trend is making people lonely. I wrote about that here.

In a recent Harvard study, researchers found that the amount of social interaction in an individual’s daily life is one of the most consistent predictors of psychological well-being. We derive intimacy, support, and emotional richness from human interaction. People tend to feel happiest when they interact with partners, friends and family workers.

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Surprisingly, interactions with total strangers also tend bring enhanced happiness and well-being. In fact, people often discuss very intimate topics with strangers because the relational stakes are low. Perhaps that’s the magic behind Yukio Shige‘s work. It’s the anonymity of the interaction that allows the jumpers to so freely share their most intimate thoughts and feelings. In fact, Yukio Shige often invites jumpers back to his cafe for tea where they talk for hours. Many stay in his hostel for several nights until they’re ready to return home.

Yukio Shige serves as a friend, host, counselor and confidant to these total strangers. He will often call their family members and offer to mediate a difficult conversation. He does all of this for free, but why?

See, Yukio Shige is a retired police officer. During his working years he patrolled the cliffs. He got tired of fishing dead bodies out of the water. When he finally retired, he explained “I’ve seen so much grief, I just don’t want to see it anymore.”

That’s the reason he started a non-profit to prevent suicide at the cliffs. Now in his mid-70’s, he wanted to ensure that others could carry-on the mission once he can no longer climb the cliffs. He wanted to teach others to listen. To simply end the grief. To end the sorrow. To end the senseless acts of desperation.

But, what if we changed things. What if we slowed down. What if we started to look for strangers on the cliff of life, simply looking for someone to talk to.

I wrote about this recently in a piece called What Makes Life Meaningful? Hint: It's often found in commitment, contribution and connection to others. It's often found in commitment, contribution and connection to others.

What if we changed our mantra to: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”. Just like in this outstanding, 120 second video from the Norwich City soccer club, which encourages its fans to “check in on those around you”.

According to the studies, it might make us happier. And, it might make the world a better place for all of us.

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