What Makes Life Meaningful?

It's often found in commitment, contribution and connection to others.

For all the freedom, prosperity and peace in the United States, we ought to be pretty happy. Compared to other parts of the world, this is the greatest place on earth, right?

So, then, why did we only rank as the 23rd happiest country on earth in the 2024 World Happiness Report? We even got beat by Israel and Iceland. If the US were on Yelp! we’d only get 2.5 stars. But, why?

First, the US continues to face challenges with trust in institutions. Whether it’s big tech, tobacco companies, big Pharma, Corporate media companies or the ass-clowns in Washington, DC, we simply don’t trust as much as we used to. I wrote about that in a piece called Why We lost Faith in Our American Institutions.

Second, income inequality is a factor that spans the generations. One reason is that we assume our neighbors are a whole lot more successful that we are. Not so. I wrote about this in a piece called How Much Money Do You Need to Be Rich? (Hint: not as much as you think)

Third, our collective mental health needs a check up, especially among younger Americans. See, in prior generations our happiness followed a U-shaped curve. Happier in our carefree youth, tougher during middle age and happy again later in life. But, today, that U-shape has been smashed. Younger Americans aren’t getting a driver’s license, interacting with friends or having sex as much. I wrote about this in Why Young Men Lost Interest in Sex and The World’s Largest Lab Rat Study.

Most importantly, the high-speed, competitive culture of the US often prioritizes success, productivity and individualism - often at the cost of our own well-being. That high speed, competitive spirit often provides us with our only sense of purpose and meaning.

Lots of us work long hours, especially since the US has one of the longest workweeks among developed countries. I often wonder how we did business before smartphones allowed us to always be on-even when we are on vacation or taking a sick day.

I recall years ago a funny meme comparing a European vs. an American out-of-office notification.

European

"I will not be working again until 18 September at the earliest. All emails will be automatically deleted. Cheers

American

"Later today I will be briefly unavailable as I undergo a kidney transplant. I’m expected to be under anesthesia from 11am, East until approximately 6pm, East. If your matter is urgent, please page Dr. Steve Frankel at MD Anderson Cancer Center who is performing the surgery. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Lastly, we are experiencing a loneliness epidemic, particularly in our more seasoned Americans. I wrote about that in a piece called Who Do We Spend Time With As We Age? (Hint: nobody)

So, I think we can both agree that any of these five factors can cause us to question our life’s purpose and meaning.

A study presented in JAMA Psychiatry found that people with a strong sense of purpose had a 15-20% lower risk of death over a 14-year follow-up period. True meaning in life doesn't just make life better – it makes it longer.

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Consider this: America has approximately 100,000 people over age 100 or about the same number as Japan. But, wait, the US is three times larger than Japan. So, what gives? What are they doing differently?

Sure, the Japanese have a superior diet and exercise regimen. But, that’s only part of the equation. It’s not what they do, it’s who they do it with.

The Japanese Centenarians all share a habit called the Maoi: a social support group that they often keep for over 90 years.

A group of 5-8 lifelong friends who meet weekly. They share in each other’s ups and downs. They support each other emotionally, socially and financially. It’s a lifelong safety net that starts in childhood and lasts for life.

See, we are biologically wired for deep connection. Yet our modern world offers little of it and, if anything, actively works against it. That will only get worse when Artificial Intelligence matures.

Several academic studies have attempted to quantify the value of friendships in monetary terms. One study quantifies the value of one additional friend or strong social connection in your life. The study found it generated happiness equivalent to an additional $12,000-15,000 in annual income.

This Japanese concept tracks along with research from around the world. People who report the highest levels of meaning and purpose aren’t the ones trying to "find themselves." They are the ones giving themselves away to something larger, like the Moai.

Here's what we know for sure: meaning isn't found in working ourselves to death. It’s isn’t found in railing against politicians or temporal institutions.

It's found in commitment, contribution, and connection to others. It's found in the people and places that require something of you.

Perhaps it’s time to dial back the competitive culture. Time to reinvest by giving the best of ourselves away to something bigger than ourselves; something that combats loneliness and serves others. Something that gives our lives true purpose and meaning. Then maybe we can find our country climbing the ranks of the World Happiness Report before our 100th birthday.

How happy are you? Would you give your life more than 2.5 stars on Yelp!? What gives your life purpose and meaning. I’d love to hear from you. I write purely for the joy of making new friends, so please reach out and tell me what’s on your mind. Click the button below to start a conversation with me. I read and respond to ALL comments. 

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