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- The Slap Heard Around the World (Part Two)
The Slap Heard Around the World (Part Two)
I know you’re sick of this story. Me too. But, in the next seven minutes I’m gonna weave together Will Smith, Will Packer, Tiger Woods, Jesus Christ, Ramadan and Easter. Then we can put a fork in this story for at least ten years.
Last week I wrote Part One of The Slap Heard Around the World. Slap here to catch up.
The Cover Up
Like all major scandals, it’s never about the crime. (see also, Watergate, Enron, Bill Clinton, Tonya Harding, Jeffrey Epstein, etc.) It’s always the cover-up that does the real damage. That, too, will be the lasting impression of the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap fight. It will be the way Will Smith handled the aftermath that will forever damage his brand.
The Producer of the Academy Awards ceremony is Will Packer. After the slap, Packer was desperately hoping that Will Smith would apologize during his Best Actor acceptance speech. He didn’t. That was strike two for The Fresh Prince.
The Art of An Apology
I was fortunate to attend The Masters golf tournament this week. It’s widely known as “the toughest ticket in sports”. The loudest roars heard across the property were for Tiger Woods, despite little chance of winning the tournament. He limped around to the delight of adoring fans. On every hole people screamed “We love you, Tiger”.
Despite his many troubles, we really do love some Tiger Woods. Maybe cause we all see a little of ourselves in him. None of us are perfect and we know it. We also realize, in hindsight, that we were witnessing greatness during his run. He’s the greatest golfer of our generation, at least until his son Charlie reaches the Tour.
We love Tiger because, while he made enormous mistakes, he mostly owned them. He apologized to his fans and it was heartfelt. He went to therapy to try and deal with his issues. We moved on with him, together. It took a lot of time, but we forgave him.
We started out as the underdogs in this country, but I think we’ve all forgiven the Red Coats with bad teeth. It’s just who we are. That’s why we love a comeback. We have a lot of flaws in this country but we are a country of grace.
“Grace is the opposite of karma, which is all about getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.”
Justin Holcomb
Will & (No) Grace
Grace is a tricky concept. In my Christian faith tradition, grace is simply the offering of forgiveness when you don’t deserve it. It’s what the Holy Spirit promises to us in exchange for sin, suffering, and brokenness. Even if you’re not a Christian, grace is an important concept. That is, unless you wanna live in a van down by the river.
“Grace is unconditional love toward a person who does not deserve it.”
Grace is the willingness to allow people to be human and to make mistakes, yet loving them anyway. It’s what we are lacking in our cancel culture. I wrote about that here and here. It’s human to make mistakes. It’s also human to forgive people who don’t deserve it.
But for grace to thrive, it must have one important ingredient. The catalyst for grace is the recognition that someone has a good heart and that they didn’tintend to be hurtful. And, of course, that they are truly capable of self reflection and humility.
The Board of Governor’s of The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences agreed. This week they announced Will Smith will not be allowed to attend the Academy Awards for the next 10 years. Ouch.
No Emotion in Motion
Within 24 hours of the slap, Will Smith’s publicist (likely) wrote this sterile, emotionless apology which was posted on Instagram.
“Jokes at my expense are a part of the job, but a joke about Jada\’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally,\” he wrote. \”I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness.\”
Do you think that apology contains even a modicum of self reflection and humility-the catalysts for grace?I don’t.
It’s a perfect example of how not to encourage grace from the American public. He should be ashamed, again.
Don’t Hit….
According to a recent study, and any American Kindergarten teacher, the classic apology involves five things: Admitting Fault, Admitting Damage, Expressing Remorse, Asking for Pardon, and Offering Atonement.
Smith’s actions and words lack atonement. That is, taking action to correct the wrongdoing. He didn’t need a professional public relations/disaster recovery firm. He needed to pick up his iPhone and record a 30-second, heartfelt Tik-Tok video to his fans. It would have gone viral in seconds. And, the press would have lapped it up.
It’s just not complicated. It’s as simple as calling each of the Award winners on the phone to apologize. Or, writing handwritten apology notes to the hosts Regina Hall, Amy Schumer and Wanda Sykes. Or taking out a full page ad in the USA Today promoting Chris Rock’s upcoming comedy tour. Just do something, anything, to show remorse or regret and atonement. He hasn’t. Without it you get no grace from us. None.
“Arrogance is ignorance plus conviction,”
–Tim Urban
The After (Slap) Party
After The Oscars Will Smith and his wife were seen at the Vanity Fair after party. In this video Smith is seen dancing while holding the gold statue. Not surprisingly, he was dancing to his own music, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It. Does this sound like regret or remorse to you? He should have taken his hardware home and gone to bed.
An Opportunity for Resurrection
The entire month of April is devoted to Ramadan in the Muslim faith tradition. And, next Sunday Christians will celebrate Easter, the oldest and most important festival in the Christian church. Easter celebrates the resurrection of the Prince of Peace, after His crucifixion on the cross.
Perhaps the other Prince, the one from Bel-Air, should use this Holy Week as an opportunity for self reflection. An opportunity to revisit the pages of history. An opportunity to seek His grace and contemplate his own resurrection. It would be third coolest resurrection in history behind Jesus and Tiger. The clock is ticking…
Last week I got an overwhelming number of emails and comments. Most of you agreed with me. Let’s keep the conversation going (below). What can Will Smith do to seek grace and forgiveness? And, please do me a favor and forward this article to a few friends who might enjoy reading this.
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