Seven Ways to Reduce Loneliness During the Second Wave

The recent Social Distancing has been hard on us. But, it’s been particularly hard on the most vulnerable among us. Populations like the elderly and the disabled. Experts say the trend is disturbing because loneliness and isolation have been estimated to shorten a person\’s life by 15 years The equivalent to being obese or smoking 15 Cancer Sticks per day.

All this loneliness kinda reminds me of the Eleanor Rigby. She died in in church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came.

And that’s where the story begins.

Isolation

According to Phillip Zimbardo, a Psychologist at Stanford,

To be sure, this isolation has been tough on everyone. And, for those of us who are extroverts, it’s been hideous. I’ve started to have two-way conversations with my highly neurotic wiener dogs. The conversations go something like this (click here).

Look at all the Lonely People

Even before the pandemic we were already in a bad spot when it comes to loneliness. A 2018 survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 1 in 5 Americans always or often feel lonely or socially isolated. And, many of these Americans say their health, relationships and work suffers as a result.  

The Healing Power of Human Connection

You may know that each of our American Surgeon Generals adopt a health risk as their mission. Who can forget Former Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elder’s mission?

In 2017, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy chose loneliness as a mission. Click below to see an interview by Oprah’s friend, Gayle. Murthy rightly calls loneliness a public health “epidemic.” 

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Murthy’s new book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, is an objective and critical view of this loneliness epidemic. 

Murthy, MD cites multiple sources in the book which show that the mortality risk of chronic loneliness is similar to downing a sackful of Krystal Chili Cheese Pups every day.

Ironically, Dr. Murthy opines that one of the leading causes of loneliness is independence. As people live longer, they are more likely to live alone. That can be empowering, but it can also lead to chronic loneliness.

According to the US Census Bureau, households with just one person have been rising for the past 50 years.

Physical Distancing & Stress

The Annals of Internal Medicine recently outlined the pandemic’s impact on mental health. It wasn’t pretty. The study suggests that physical distancing and stress caused by the pandemic, have exacerbated an already lonely society. 

See, we aren’t surprised to find that older folks living alone are lonely. The shocker is that more loneliness is being reported at younger ages than older ages. The Gen Z (18-22) generation reports feeling lonely at twice the rate of the Greatest Generation (age 72+).  

Can you believe that the most connected generation in history is lonely?

The trouble is that chronic loneliness doesn’t just make you feel terrible—it’s also terrible for you. Loneliness elevates our risk of developing a range of disorders, including cardiovascular disease, neurodegenerative diseases, cognitive decline, and metastatic cancer. It also weakens the immune system. Perhaps that’s why Father McKenzie died. Too much time darning the socks.

If you have a sense of worth and life with a purpose, you will feel less lonely….and probably eat less meatloaf.

F.O.M.O. and the Pandemic

In the midst of this pandemic, we’ve been all been spending time on social media like we are the Kardashians. Apparently we’ve all got a case of F.O.M.O., or Fear of Missing Out.

Ironically, a recent study of 143 undergraduates at the University of Pennsylvania suggests we are doing the wrong thing. The undergraduates were asked to limit Social Media use to just 10 minutes per day.

The group showed significant reductions in loneliness and depression over three weeks compared to the control group. Crazy, huh?  The only thing keeping us attached to our social safety net is actually making us lonelier. 

Some people are so genuinely uncomfortable in their own skin that they cannot be alone. For those folks, the alone time is actually painful. Maybe it’s the flood of emotions. Maybe it’s too much internal chit-chat. Maybe it’s too much time thinking up stuff like this:

Guns and the Pandemic

Meantime, while you were fixated on the Coronavirus and washing your hands like Howard Hughes, a disturbing trend developed. Gun sales in the country have skyrocketed. In March, more than 2.5 million firearms were sold, including 1.5 million handguns. 

The heightened gun sales in March 2020 represent an 85% increase compared to March 2019.

The highest firearm sales ever recorded in the United States. I guess gun stores were deemed “essential businesses”. 

The concern here is that we already have a tri-fecta of economic uncertainty, social distancing and loneliness. Add in the single largest month of handgun sales in US history. What you have is potential tsunami.  The second wave of the pandemic might not be the virus at all.

The Interwebs

It seems America’s hottest companies are actually promoting social isolation. Just think about Amazon, Zoom, MDLive, UberEats, Netflix, Venmo and Peloton.

I can buy groceries, have a meeting, visit with a Doctor, order dinner, see a movie, pay bills, exercise and go to church. And I don’t even have to wear pants.

So as the fog begins to lift from the Coronavirus, there are some things we can do to help limit our loneliness. I made this list of seven things. Number seven is my favorite.

1. Create a TikTok accountEveryone I know has a Tik Tok account. It allows you to create short videos like this one, which has been viewed 20M times. You might even become a famous TikTok artist yourself. Who knows?

2. MeditationOne of the great advantages of all this technology is the ability to try new things. Surprisingly, one of the ironic antidotes to you’re loneliness is solitude. Download the Calm app. Or the Headspace app. These (almost) free apps allow you to give meditation a try.

3. Attend Meetups

There are tons of meetup groups catering to every interest, job, city and hobby, so it’s impossible not to find a group to your liking. Click here to see options. And nearly every meetup has transitioned to Zoom until the virus clears. So you can dip your toe in the water before you have to walk into a room full of strangers playing Mahjong all night.

4. Phone a Friend

This one is simple. Get off Facebook and Instagram. It’s called a Smart “Phone” for a reason. Take the time to reconnect with other humans on an actual, old school phone call. You’ll be glad you did.

5. Gratitude List

It’s as simple as writing down 3–5 things you are grateful for everyday in a journal. It could be anything — the health of your parents or MJ’s Last Dance on Netflix or your pet Iguana, etc. You get the point.

6. Choosing Therapy

Choosing Therapy is an online therapy platform that provides users the confidential support of a licensed therapist through an easy-to-use and HIPAA-compliant app. And it guarantees you won’t have any awkward waiting room chats while wearing a face mask. You can confidentially search for a therapist by clicking here.

7. Write a letter of gratitude

One of the best ways to reconnect with people is to simply say “thanks”. Last week I wrote handwritten notes to 20 of my team members. I wanted them to know that I’m grateful for their efforts during the house arrest. What about you? Are there people in your world that you are grateful for?

If you agree that people are lonely, could you please share this story on Facebook? (just click below) Maybe you and I can reach some people who are lonely.

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