The Rise of the Screenager

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Despite the fact that we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, our kids are safer than ever. Safe from everything, except themselves.

And, that’s where the story begins.

Where Are We?

Major crimes are down. Hunger is felt only by the poorest Americans. And, war is handled by professional military personnel. 

Our children are mostly safe from the external risk factors that plagued earlier generations. 

The 1980’s Called

I recall growing up in the 80’s, when our family’s biggest issue was who was tying up the family landline with their latest flame.

Was there any more gut-wrenching experience than calling a girl? I can still remember calling Teresa Pink. I’d dial six numbers and hover my index finger over the seventh digit trying to muster the courage to punch the seventh digit. It was awful. 

Inevitably I’d summon the courage to hit the seventh digit. The phone would ring. Inevitably, one of Teresa’s 28 brothers would answer. It went something like this:

Brother: “Hullo?

(Dammit, it’s the brother.)

Me:  “Ah, is Teresa there?”

Brother: “Yeah, she’s here”

Me: “Um, can I speak to her?”

Brother: “Who is this?”

Me: “Um, it’s Tom. I’m in her home room and I have, um, questions about our, um, homework”

Brother: “Why do you have homework in homeroom, Tim?” And I think she’s in the bathroom, anyway”

Me: “Um, ah, okay well could you tell her I called when she gets out of the bathroom?”

Brother: “Yeah, sure Tony, I’ll tell her. (Hangs up.)

It was an awful right of passage for boys of my generation-and the single biggest fear of every American boy. It’s amazing we continued to procreate as a species.

Most of the Dads today are a little disappointed that their boys no longer have to experience the humiliating chat with one of the aforementioned Pink brothers.

Thank God for the Mall and the Skating Rink. Once I learned to skate backwards, I was money in the couples skate.

Welcome to The Future

Unlike the kids of my generation, today\’s kids simply spend their time on smartphones.

Snapchat and Instagram give today’s kids an opportunity to casually test the water before having to execute the dating cannonball into the deep end of the teen pool. Today’s kids can meet, “date” and break-up without ever seeing each other in person. Not gonna lie, I’m a bit jealous.

So you might be thinking that this is a piece about The Social Dilemma and the pitfalls of Social Media. The Netflix documentary highlights the concerns of former tech employees who are all gazillionaires now. They claim that the Social Media ecosystem they innocently created is ruining the world. As a sidebar, don’t you think these guys are a little hypocritical? I do. Their hand is still two knuckles deep in the cookie jar.

Yeah, that documentary is truly gut-wrenching. But for social media to take over the planet we first had to have smart phones. After all, without smart phones we’d have a lot fewer cat videos to share on Tik-Tok.

Today’s teens are the first to grow up with both smartphones and Social Media. They’re the Screenager Generation. Kids born in this generation do not recall a time before the interwebs. Their first cell phone was likely an iPhone and that year was likely 2007.

The first generation of Screenagers are just now reaching adulthood. And it’s like watching a slow-moving car wreck, except the guy behind the wheel-sliding backwards into the curb…is you.

Positive Trends

Despite the negativity, there are some fascinating and positive trends in the Screenager Generation.

For example, according to the US National Highway Transportation Safety Administration, there were 4,361 young drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2017 – a 26-percent decrease from the 5,886 involved in 2008. This 26-percent decrease is different from the 4-percent increase for all drivers involved in fatal crashes in the same time period. I’ll tell you why in a moment.

How about the teen pregnancy rate in the US? Today’s teens are doing the horizontal bone dance at dramatically lower rates than earlier generations.

Teen births per 1,000 females has dropped precipitously since the 1960\’s and the introduction of the birth control pill. The birth rate from 1960-1990 dropped by 38%. Good news. But the birth rate from the introduction of the iPhone in 2007 to 2017 dropped by a mind blowing 54%.

So the iPhone actually reduced the teen birth rate in the US more than the birth control pill did? Yup. Chew on that one for a minute.

Negative Trends

When I turned 16 years old, I couldn’t wait to get my drivers license. Today’s teens, not so much.

The percentage of 16-year-olds nationwide with a license decreased from 30.7 percent in 2007 to 24.8 percent in 2018, according to the US Department of Transportation. 

So kids are not having “hot, lovelyrelations” like the Nutty Professor’s grandmother. And, the kids aren’t getting a driver\’s license. So what the heck are the kids doing?

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It appears they are spending that time alone, on their smartphones. And that was happening even before a worldwide pandemic shut down the solar system.

According to data in a survey by Prudential Life Insurance Company, something is making our kids very sick. A study tracking the number of dependent overdose and suicide death claims paid by Prudential between 2008-2017 has some alarming trends.

• In 2008, there were approximately 300 dependent suicides per year.

• By 2017, there were approximately 450 dependent suicides per year.

A similar rate of increase occurred in the number of dependent deaths from drug overdoses. That is equivalent to a 4.5% increase each year or about 15 more kids committing suicide each year. And, that’s data from one Life insurance company. But it’s fairly credible, meaning that it can be extrapolated across the entire US population.

A study by the National Institute of Mental Health presents more chilling facts.

• In 2007, there were 580,000 visits to US Emergency Departments by children for suicide attempts or suicidal thoughts.

• By 2015, the number had doubled to almost 1.2M kids. Alarmingly, 43% were for children between ages 5-11.  

According to the CDC, overall suicide rates in the US are rising in the period 1999 – 2016. Southern states had rates of increase from 38% to 58%. Again, that’s before we introduced “social distancing” and “work from home”. For some people, going to work presents their only opportunity for social interaction.

So what’s going on here? Our kids are living in a dramatically safer and healthier world. They aren’t getting pregnant or dying behind the wheel.

But as we distract ourselves with childish political squabbles and argue whether Carol Baskin killed her husband (of course she did) our kids are harming themselves at historic levels. It’s tragic stuff.

The answer is pretty clear. These smartphones, and their evil twins in Social Media, are harming our children at historic levels. And, I’m betting social distancing and virtual school is gonna throw another log on this smoldering dumpster fire.

Unfortunately I don’t have the easy button for you. I know it’s tough to tell your kid that the phone is harming them. Especially when so much of their life is managed on that piece of metal and glass. But something is definitely wrong with our kids.

Maybe its cause our kids don’t know how to be bored…..

..or to simply “go out and play”.

…or to make prank phone calls without getting caught.

….or to insert the last quarter into the video game.

….or to drink Kool-Aid made from ordinary, unfiltered tap water.

….or to dial a girl’s phone number.

……or to play kick the can until the street lights come on.

Or maybe it’s cause they don’t know that drinking water from the hose on a hot summer day tastes delicious.

I don’t know. But, regardless, we gotta get our arms around this stuff….soon.

Perhaps in another 20 or 30 years maybe we will have enough data and academic studies to reach an intelligent conclusion about limiting Smartphone usage by children. But in the meantime, I’d like to know what you think.

Leave a comment below or simply repost this story on Facebook so other parents can see the data. Maybe we can learn something from each other. Or maybe we can crank up a game of kick the can. Count me in.

And that, my friends, is where the story ends for this week. #nothingbeatsnice

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