Reflecting the Light in the Dark Places

I get a lot of questions about why I write stories. Especially after the Nick Marshall suicide story went viral. 

Most people think I’m trying to write a book or become an internet sensation. Make a few bucks. Get on TV. 

Let me tell you a story and maybe that’ll help provide some context. 

The Institute for Peace

During the Second World War, German paratroopers invaded the island of Crete. When they landed at Maleme, the islanders met them, bearing nothing other than kitchen knives and hay scythes. 

The consequences of resistance were devastating. The residents of entire villages were lined up and shot.

Alexander Papaderous was just six years old when the war started. His home village was destroyed and he was imprisoned in a concentration camp. When the war ended, he became convinced his people needed to let go of the hatred the war had unleashed. 

To help the process, he founded the Institute for Peace at this place that embodied the horrors and hatreds unleashed by the war.

One day, while taking questions at the end of a lecture, Papaderous was asked, “What’s the meaning of life?” There was nervous laughter in the room.

He opened his wallet, took out a small, round mirror and held it up for everyone to see. 

During the war he was just a small boy when he came across a motorcycle wreck. The motorcycle had belonged to German soldiers. Alexander found pieces of broken mirrors from the motorcycle lying on the ground. 

Later he tried to put them together but couldn’t, so he took the largest piece and scratched it against a stone until its edges were smooth and it was round. He used it as a toy, fascinated by the way he could use it to shine light into holes and crevices.

He kept that mirror with him as he grew up. Over time it came to symbolize something very important. It became a metaphor for what he might do with his life.

A Broken and Fragmented World

As I look around I see restlessness. People hopelessly trying to make their way in a broken and fragmented world. Like Alexander Papaderous trying to put the mirror back together.  

Look, I’m not a Pastor or Therapist. There are others far more qualified for those callings. But I see and hear things in my journey. Things that indicate that people are struggling.

College Philosophy

I remember studying Nihilism in my college Philosophy classes with Dr. Graham.

Nihilism is the belief that all values are baseless. It is often associated with extreme skepticism maintaining that nothing in the world has a real existence.

I remember thinking that Nihilism was basically translated to: “Life’s a bitch, then you die”. But in the meantime you might as well live it up cause there is no higher power. Dust to dust, I guess. 

Surprisingly, that\’s where a lot of folks find themselves today, at least according to the studies.  

Author David Brooks calls this “the great disembedding.” We once embraced tight communities. And, hierarchical, human organizations with prescribed social norms. You know, those core institutions that made America the greatest place in earth?

Our core institutions have value, even if all institutions are flawed. For all their imperfections, core institutions are the best way to transfer goodness to future generations.

We now embrace a hyper-individualistic way of life. A society almost totally devoid of social, emotional or physical contact.

What Has Changed?

A few weeks ago the Wall Street Journal ran a piece by Erica Komisar. Ms. Komisar is a psychoanalyst and author. She has been in private practice in New York City for 25 years. 

The article focused on why so many people are restless. Ms Komisar provides her perspective in the article:

“One of the most important explanations—and perhaps the most neglected—is declining interest in religion. This cultural shift already has proved disastrous for millions of vulnerable young people.”

According to a 2018 Gallup Study, half of Americans are church members, down from 70% in 1999. Even among those who define themselves as “religious”, church membership has fallen nine percent. 

At the same time, the rates of every type of mental health issue are up. Way up.

Addiction is up.

Self-harm is up.

Anxiety is up.

Depression is up.

Divorce is up.

Everything is up. 

With so much toiling, are we looking for answers in the right places?

Perhaps Ms Komisar is on the right track. 

In an age of increasing anger, loneliness, and narcissistic individualism, faith in a higher power provides an antidote. Nearly every religion I know touts generosity, gratitude and friendship. And, most importantly, believing that you are not the center of the universe. 

One of the primary benefits of faith is to provide a sanctuary in which we can withdraw from the chaos of our world and seek stillness. Respite from the noise and commotion of daily life.

The antidote to restlessness is stillness. 

Belief in a higher power creates, at least, the perception of interconnectedness in the random and unexplainable events in the universe. The occasional, yet incomprehensible, pain and loss that can accompany life. 

People we love get sick. 

People we love get hurt.  

People we love die. 

Terrible things occasionally happen to some very good people. But, we will all die someday. It’s one of the few remaining things we can all agree on. 

We can attempt to handle some of those events better by, at least, surmising that there is some point in all of it. How do you explain to your child that Peepaw is dead? And that he’s not in heaven with Meemaw. But, in fact, is just worm food.  

Dr. Tyler VanderWeele published a study in JAMA Psychiatry. It found that weekly religious service attendance was associated with a 500% lower rate of suicide compared to individuals who do not attend.

If life really does boil down to “life’s a bitch, then you die”, doesn’t that make all of life kinda meaningless?

We are here. We do some stuff. We die and turn to dust. Game Over.   

The whole thing is just a curvy road leading to a dead-end? Pointless. Ashes to ashes.

Is There a God?

I once had a deep conversation with a “man of the cloth”, named Kevin. I asked, “how can you be so confident that there is a God?” His pragmatic answer was stunning. 

Maybe, just maybe, the decline in our belief in a higher power has something to do with all this struggling.

All this restlessness.

All this longing.

All this loneliness.

All this unhappiness.

It wasn’t until almost 1950 that we recognized the obvious connection between cigarettes and Cancer. That’s 85 years of heart/lung damage before someone made the connection. So many people died horrible deaths. Seems pretty silly in retrospect, huh?

Perhaps it will take us another 85 years to complete the connection between a lack of faith and our current afflictions. 

So to the question about why I write stories for strangers, I give you the words of Alexander Papaderous

“With what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world–into the black places in the hearts of men–and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise.”

And maybe along the way we can sort out some of these big questions of life together. 

After all, what’ve you got to lose?

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