Is Loneliness The New Smoking?

Imagine a job where you get paid $47 per hour to do nothing. That’s right, nothing. In Japan, a company called Family Romance pays people to literally do nothing.       

A company called Family Romance is one of many “companionship agencies” in Japan that rent out real humans purely for companionship. Family Romance boasts over 800 potential “friends” on their website. Their corporate tag line is “More pleasure than the pleasure reality can provide.”

I know what you’re thinking, but get your mind out of the gutter. This isn’t about prostitution. The service is about companionship.   

So, why in the world do these businesses exist? And, why are people using them? The answer is simple. People are lonely. I wrote about this epidemic in a piece called Why Friendships In America Are Dying.

“People Who Need People”

A recent survey found that, since 1985, Americans without any close friends has tripled. Many people are lonely. But who are the loneliest people? It’s not the C-students.

A recent survey suggests that lawyers are the loneliest people on the planet.

But, other smarty-pants professions are also very lonely. Engineering and Science professions are the second and third loneliest professions, respectively. Surprisingly, people with Professional degrees are 25% lonelier than those with Bachelor’s degrees.

Only the Lonely (at Work)

As employers fight to attract and retain talent, maybe employers should screen for loneliness. See, lonely people are more likely to experience lower job satisfaction, more infrequent promotions and are more likely to quit within the first six months.

Yet, few employers think that loneliness is the culprit. But, why? Because there is is a big difference between being lonely and being alone. To feel lonely is to feel disconnected with the world. To feel totally left out or isolated. It’s an utter lack of social support, even in the workplace.

According to Dr. Vivek Murthy, the Surgeon General of the United States, “loneliness is a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety.” In fact, Dr. Murthy believes that loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a reduction in lifespan similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

But, loneliness isn’t always about occupation. Some people relocate to a new town. Some people get divorced and lose their social support system. Some people simply lose touch with friends. Still others just don’t have the time to nurture lasting friendships. So, rather than go to that hot new restaurant or a movie alone, clients request the type of companion they desire.  

This kind of thing is mainstream in Japan. Clients come from all walks of life and have all types of requests.  

One man rented a wife and daughter to replace his estranged family. He provided a house key to Romance Partners in advance.  When he arrived home, the lights were on and his “fake wife” was cooking dinner. His “fake daughter“ was busy doing her homework at the kitchen table.  In this scenario the client uses his real wife and daughter’s names when speaking to the stand-ins. Do you think that is weird? I do.

Coming to America

In the United States, the trend is beginning to gain steam.  RentAFriend.com is a companionship company that allows you to rent local friends anywhere in the US. You can rent a friend to watch Netflix and chill. Or to watch a movie or visit a restaurant. Some even rent a friend to attend a party or event. You can even rent a friend to teach you a new skill or hobby, or to show you around an unfamiliar town.

I decided to visit www.rentafriend.com to check it out. The site feels like a dating app. Each friend profile includes an hourly rate that ranges from $35-$65 an hour.

After setting up a profile under my college pseudonym, Hayes Thomas, III, I proceeded to search for a new friend.

I found Ray on the rentafriend.com website. He’s 57 years old and lives in Atlanta. He’s a former World Championship Wrestling (WCW) pro wrestler. For about $50 an hour, Ray will join you for bowling, site seeing, hiking, hot air ballooning, golf, wine tasting, or just hanging out for beers. (It isn’t clear whether Ray will provide the hot air balloon.)

See, men often don\’t have close friends. In heterosexual relationships, women often maintain friendships for the couple.

The Ultimate Life Hack

With these things in mind, outsourcing friendships might seem like the ultimate life hack. All of the pleasure and none of the pain. But, interestingly enough there is a correlation between the amount of pain endured and the quality of a friendship. See, friendship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. People get sick, lose their jobs, lose family members to dreadful diseases, move away and can have relationship troubles, just to name a few.

But, it’s a two-way street. And, grinding through life’s ugliness together is part of what strengthens a true friendship. I guess you could rent a friend and air all your dirty laundry, but that could get expensive and they might fall asleep.

I think as we get older we crave these kinds of deeper conversations, or at least I do.

So, what do you think? Would you ever consider renting a friend for a day? I want to know. Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts. I promise you’ll hear back from me.

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