Never Make Permanent Decisions Based on Temporary Emotions

Everything today is liquid. Everything today is fungible, changeable. Our politics, religion, economy, climate. All in a state of constant change. And, the speed of change seems to be increasing exponentially.

The sociologist and philosopher Zygmunt Bauman, coined the phrase Liquid Modernity. It’s a metaphor to describe how we are becoming less attached to traditional societal norms. We float through life like a tourist, changing places, spouses, values, while freeing ourselves from the traditional expectations of society. Liquid Modernity is designed to suit our desire to explore.

So, why are things changing so fast? Because our brains have evolved and become larger and faster than those of our ancestors. When neurons get activated, they stimulate an electric current across your cells. That current cruises at a smooth 268 mpg. That speed generates 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts per day, or up to 50 thoughts a minute. In comparison, the average person only speaks at a rate of 100-130 words per minute. So we think 1,000 times faster than we speak. 

That horsepower, combined with today’s incredible technology, is driving rapid change in everything. Life today has the stability of a traveling carnival in an abandoned shopping mall parking lot.

Wisdom teaches us not to listen to all those thoughts. And, not to embrace emotion as the source of truth. If you do, you’re likely to end up living next to Matt Foley in a van down by the river, with the police doing monthly “wellness checks” at the behest of your ostracized family.

Listening to all those thoughts can lead to temporary emotions and some regrettable, permanent decisions. Take, for example, the number of people getting tattoos these days. They’re cool, but how good will those tats look at age 70 when things start to sag. I wonder if some very young children who undergo gender transition will regret their decision later in life. And, we all know people who enjoyed one night of passion that resulted in an unexpected gift nine months later.

Some of the best advice I ever received is to “never make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions.” I bet that resonates with you. Our most regrettable decisions are made in the height of emotion. 

As we near the end of the college football season, I’m reminded that nothing demonstrates our collective plasticity more than college football. Today’s genius coach is tomorrow’s punching bag. One bad season and a few bad play calls and that genius coach finds himself at a “directional” JuCo trying to recruit a one-star player who is on house arrest. Texas A&M just fired head coach Jimbo Fisher after winning 45 of 70 games. Don’t cry for Jimbo, he will get $75 Million to buy out of his contract.

The past few years have included amazing displays of fluidity. Here are some examples:

• Our first public school opened in 1635. For 386 years, all education took place in a classroom. Then, in 2021, schools migrated to remote learning. In California, over 90% of education took place remotely.

• Work also migrated from mandatory attendance to a more fluid, work-from-home arrangement for some employees. Last month over half of job applications on LinkedIn were for remote work positions. I wrote about the work from home trend here. There is now a gigantic 35% gap between the supply and demand for remote work opportunities.

• The number of American men and women who are married today is at an all-time low of 45 percent, according to the 2022 American Family Survey. And, more people than ever are living alone, leading to a loneliness epidemic.

Some of these changes are temporary. But, this kind of institutional upheaval creates the impression that everything is fluid and always changing: our schools, government, workplace and churches. I guess nothing is certain because, you know, death and taxes.

However, liquid modernity can bring positive societal changes. Just think of the vast improvement in equality in the US. The state of Mississippi charged all voters a poll tax to vote in national elections until 1966. While only $2.00 per voter, that’s the equivalent of $60.00 in 2022 inflation adjusted dollars. In Vermont, poll taxes didn’t end until 1982.

Our nation’s acceptance and laws regarding same-sex marriage have shifted wildly in favor of supporting those unions.

We no longer need to travel to a shopping mall. Pretty much anything you could want can be ordered online and delivered to your front door.

Some change is inevitable and welcome. But, I’m hopeful that we will slow things down a bit.  That we will revisit our liquidity. That we will reassess our long-standing institutions. That we will embrace change, but recommit to solid modernity. Those structures that provide stability and steadfastness over the very long haul. These are the things that make life exceptional.

So what about you? Are you feeling the fluidity? If so, I’d like to hear about it below. I love hearing from my readers and I promise you’ll hear back from me.

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