Is Sleep the New Sex?

What do Athletes like Tom Brady, Tiger Woods and Maria Sharapova have in common? That’s right, they all gorge themselves on the same legal, performance enhancing drug: sleep.

Studies show that getting more and better sleep is life enhancing-and not just for athletes. It can enhance weight loss, improve thinking and enhance muscle recovery. It can leave you feeling more energetic and refreshed. It raises the question: “is sleep the new sex?”

Dueling Masters

According to a WSJ analysis, one in three homebuyers in the $2 million-plus price range are now seeking homes with dual master bedrooms. Dual bedrooms allow for couples to maintain separate beds, closets and en-suites. (That’s real-estate speak for bathroom.) But, many times it allows for couples to simply get more sleep. It’s becoming the hottest amenity in real estate.

While this might seem like a throw-back to Fred and Wilma Flintstone and their twin beds, it’s actually a throwback to an earlier time. Prior to the 1950s, forward-thinking couples regarded sharing a bed as old-fashioned and unhealthy. I recall my own grandparents having separate, twin beds.

In her new book, A Cultural History of Twin Beds, Lancaster University professor, Hilary Hinds details how doctors warned of the dire consequences of bed-sharing. Historically Doctors thought sharing a bed was unhealthy, as it allowed one person to rob the vitality of the other. Shared beds were also thought to expose one partner to the other’s germs. One also wonders if the monthly bath had something to do with a desire for separate beds.

In the middle ages, it was a mark of status to have a laundress wash the family’s bedding once per year. In that way, families could display their wealth by showing off how many sets of bedding they owned. For the rest of the world, sleeping in separate beds simply wasn’t affordable. It required the purchase of multiple sets of expensive bedding.

The desire for separate bedrooms today is also being driven by changing family patterns. More families are welcoming adult children and even parents back in to the home. It’s a result of the rapid rise in the price of real estate. And, also the fact that parents can live a healthy and productive life well in to their 90’s. Live-in parents create a built in source of childcare as dual career families seek to “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.” Having two master suites opens up a range of possibilities.   

But, tucked away in this trend is a surprising nugget. The National Sleep Foundation reports that nearly one in four married couples sleep in separate bedrooms.

If sleep is the new sex, then Ambien is the new Viagra. 

But these solo sleepers may be on to something. Experts argue that sleep is much more important than sex. Sleep recharges the brain. And, a lack of sleep can cause a host of health problems.  It can also slow reflexes, reduce alertness and impair your memory. And, sleep deprivation can have a similar effect on brain function as driving while impaired. In clinical studies, rats who were deprived of sleep for over 30 days simply died. 

Stranger Things

I’ve spent my entire adult life as an insomniac. During one period of heavy Ambien use I found myself doing very strange things in the night. I once ate three Klondike ice cream bars and left the wrappers on the counter. The next morning I had no recollection of having been awake.

Then things started arriving from Amazon. They were items I liked and usually the right size. (For a while I thought Amazon was reading my mind). Then it dawned on me that I was placing orders in the middle of the night, while in an Ambien induced fog.

I also found myself having to frequently nap. That sounds normal, except most of my naps occurred during my commute to the office. The problem is that I drive to my office. I’ve cat-napped in every Waffle House and McDonald’s parking lot in the county.

It turns out I’m not alone. The National Sleep Foundation reports that 22 percent of people experience insomnia every (or almost every) night.  

Famous Insomniacs & Snorers

In Hollywood, where everyone is a bit weird, some very famous couples sleep in separate rooms. Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk sleep in different rooms. Victoria and David Beckham famously maintain separate wings in their homes for privacy and sleep. Even Donald and Melania Trump reportedly slept in separate bedrooms in The White House. And, Queen Elizabeth II and her late husband, Prince Philip, slept in separate rooms for their entire marriage.

Whoop! It Up

A few years ago I purchased a Whoop activity tracker to help monitor my sleep.

The integrated Whoop app provides a detailed analysis of my sleep performance. It tracks everything from time in bed, hours asleep, stages of sleep, disturbances, skin temperature, heart rate and overall sleep performance.

OverPoured (Again)

For example, last night I got “over-poured” at a wine tasting. While I woke up feeling rested, my app suggested that I only got 5:36 of sleep which is 64% of my required sleep. And, my sleep only included 45 minutes of REM sleep. Probably because I woke up 15 times, which is 50% more times than my average night.

And, according to the heart rate tracker below, something happened at 4:45am. My Resting Heart Rate shot up 20 beats a minute.

The red lines are disturbances. That confirms that I wasn’t awake when my heart rate increased at 4:45am. Must’ve been a really bad (or good) dream.

The Whoop app asks me detailed questions each morning to help more accurately log the causes of good or bad sleep. Queries include questions about alcohol consumption, hydration, caffeine, reading in bed, sleep medication, altitude and whether my dog slept in the bed. The Whoop uses this data to share observations about what is helping me sleep better.

For example, sleeping with a dog in the bed (below) actually helps most people gain 5% more sleep. For me, it costs me 1% of my sleep.

Taking sleep medication (below) does absolutely nothing to help me sleep better. So it’s purely a placebo effect. And, usually lands me in the Waffle House parking/nap lot from 7:15-7:45am trying to recover from the drug induced grogginess.

Simply reading a book on bed for 15 minutes improves my recovery by 4%. Getting greater than 69% of my daily sleep goal increases my overall recovery by 10%.

Each week I receive a custom summary of my sleep results (above). For example, in early March I achieved 63% of my sleep goal. That stinks but it is up 3% over the prior week. Weekly recommendations include things like improving hydration, taking a nap, getting more time outdoors, reducing screen time before bed, etc.

According to Dr. Allan Mishra, a Physician and Associate Professor at Stanford University, “setting an intention to sleep well is the first step. Mishra says people who commit to making sleep a priority in their life actually sleep better. It can be that simple.

If you and your partner are having trouble sleeping in the same room, maybe try a Whoop rather than getting separate bedrooms. It won’t turn you into Tom Brady overnight, but it could save your relationship. And, it might keep you off Amazon at 3am.

How about you? Is sleep the new sex? Do you have trouble sleeping? What’s your secret?

I’d love to hear from you. Tell me what you think, below. And, please do me a favor and forward this article to a few friends who are light sleepers.

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